


Your Fault

by Sayosi



Category: Mai-HiME
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3326111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sayosi/pseuds/Sayosi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was never good at dealing with her emotions, but there's a start to everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Your Fault

Here I am, alone with Shizuru in my apartment, or is it hers? I can’t remember. Such information is trivial when I catch that look in her eyes. I was seeing that look a lot recently, or maybe it has been there all along and I have just recently obtained the ability to spot it. The latter seems more likely due to how long she has been harboring such feelings for me. 

She isn’t one to display emotion openly. No, that’s not quite right. She only shows you what she _wants_ you to see. The Fujino mask is practiced to perfection, but even the sturdiest of masks crack over time. 

Her resolve is slowly draining. The more frequent, the more desperate her glances become, the more control slips through her fingers. She’s going to break soon. What should I do? 

It’s like watching a train wreck. I know that this is going to end badly, but I can’t look away. Should I try to calm her down? But how the hell do I do that? Tea? I glance at the teacup resting on the table in front of her, wondering if there’s any liquid left in it. Her fingers fold around the object in question, lifting it to her lips in a casual sip before setting it back down on the table. Okay, she already has tea. 

I can leave. No, I’ve runaway enough in my life. This is a matter that needs to be solved, but I need more time. I bite back a cry of frustration. She’s already given me so much time, and if I ask for more it’ll just prolong her suffering. I need to either end this or... 

I stare at Shizuru as she feigns ignorance to my gaze. She’s looking intently down into her cup. It’s probably almost empty or at least the tea is really cold by now. She hasn’t refilled her cup in the past hour. Her eyes, those striking crimson eyes, shift their attention to me as that fake smile curls her lips. 

Her last defense, it’s crumbling. Any minute now and I’ll be the one putting my resistance skills to the test. 

“Natsuki.” She rolls my name off her tongue so effortlessly, sending that all too familiar chill up my spine. I freeze in my spot as she leans her body toward me, the look in her eyes betraying any innocent pretences. 

I attempt to respond, but my voice seems to have shut down with the rest of my body. She has somehow moved right up next to me with out me realizing it. Her breath is tickling my cheek, yet she isn’t even touching me. 

I want to yell out. I want to tell her to not get any closer. I can’t take this anymore. 

My breath hitches in my throat as I feel her lips—so soft—pressing against the side of my face. The sensation throws my thoughts back, back to the moment right before we died in each other’s arms. Yet, this isn’t the same. This isn’t an apology. This isn’t a heartfelt rejection. This is something still so new, so...so utterly enticing and frightening at the same time. 

She pulls back just enough so that her lips gently graze along my skin as they travel toward my ear, briefly kissing it. There is a pause in her movement, as if contemplating the next attack on my defense, which I am not even sure of its existence. I begin to wonder if she’s hesitating, but that thought quickly vanishes when her head turns downward, nuzzling herself into my neck. 

I need to say something, but...but I don’t know what. My earlier intentions of shouting at her to stay away seem so distant now. Even the simple notion of her warmth not being this close to me is nearing a sense of abnormality. Why? Why do I feel like this? I don’t understand. 

Her hands break free from any previous restraints, drifting just above my body, but never making any contact. Nonetheless, they still leave a path of heat in their wake, sending my mind into a haze. How can she have this much of an effect on me? This isn’t supposed to happen. Not yet... 

One of her hands gains enough courage to flick across the hem of my shirt, soon settling down on my stomach. I find the other venturing around my back toward my side that is farthest from her. She grips my hip, pulling me into her. We sit there, still, for a moment, her thumb drawing circles on my abdomen as she lightly kisses my neck every so often. 

What is she doing? Is she content like this? No. I can feel her fingers fidgeting at my side. She wants more, but can I give it to her? I can’t just push her away now. I don’t even have strength to move, much less lift my arms. If I say stop, I know she will, but that’s what... What is it? Do I want her to stop? A feeling of frustration builds up in my stomach, threatening to erupt. I want to scream. I _need_ to scream. This has to be released somehow. 

I squeeze my eyes shut and bite down on my lip. Shizuru seems to sense my aggravation, lifting her head enough so that she is eye level with me. I loosen my hold on my lip so that it slips away from my tooth. Slowly, I open my eyes, her image taking on a blurred appearance before clearing to the face that I feel as though I’ve known my whole life. She carries a worried expression, an expression that has always made me second-guess any actions that I may have done to cause it. This time is no exception. 

Her hand that had been resting on my stomach is now tenderly cupping my face, my name passing her parted lips in a concerned tone. I feel the need to cry, a tingling sensation making its way up the bridge of my nose. 

She loves me. 

“Shi-Shizuru...” I call out to her softly, my voice cracking. I don’t want her to go away. I don’t want her to stop kissing, touching me. I don’t want her to stop loving me. 

I need her. 

I close what little distance there is between our lips, pressing mine to hers in a chaste kiss. She seems surprised, but only for a moment, quickly kissing me back. I pull back first, catching her with her eyes still closed. Her eyelids slowly reveal whatever emotion she is holding within, sending a foreign, but not unpleasant, sensation through my heart. 

I still don’t know if I love her in the way she wants me to. The meaning of that word is still not within my reach, but I swear I could feel it, just barely brushing against my fingertips. 

She leans forward, catching my lips in a not so innocent kiss. Her hand on my cheek slips around to the back of my head, entangling her fingers with my hair as she pulls me even further into the heated kiss. A moan resounds in my throat, only succeeding in provoking her. Her other hand deftly maneuvers under my shirt to the skin she has longed for. Breaking the kiss, she travels along my jaw and eventually down my neck. Her hand on my back moves up my spine, causing a gasp to escape as I feel her smile before she nips me gently. 

Regaining enough strength, I wrap my arms around her and let my instincts take over, my brain shutting down. My hands explore her body, earning a few encouraging reactions when I hit a sweet spot. Our state of dress dwindles down to what I would usually consider embarrassing, but I take no notice, only wanting to feel her skin against my own. 

As her head makes its way back up my neck from its previous location, I angle myself just right to initiate a kiss. She promptly reciprocates, delving deeper. Her body presses even harder into me as I feel her hunger rise. The point of no return has long since passed, and I can’t help but feel anxious and scared. 

She pushes me down onto the couch and straddles my hips, her lips never leaving my own. Reality slips away as her ministrations become more intense, causing me to arch into her touch and my moans to become more frequent. I’m losing myself in her, and I relish every minute of it. 

* * *

An inviting warmth encompasses my body as I slowly flow back into consciousness. I find myself pressing up against something soft, and I assume it to be the source. My fingers lazily travel over the other form, my mind still too hazy from sleep to string together any coherent thoughts. When my hand bumps up against a certain mound, I suddenly remember what, or really _who_ is right next to me with a rush of heat to my face. I crack open my eyes to come face to face with a generous amount of creamy skin, only further proving my deduction. 

Before I even let myself reach confusion with how I got into this situation, I remember what happened the previous night. The heat in my face spreads out to the rest of my body when I recall a few rather vivid details. Did I really do that? 

I didn’t expect something like that to happen so soon. In fact, I’m still not sure if I ever expected something like that to happen. However, I admit I’m not exactly one to always know what I’m feeling or where such feelings may take me. Apparently, I am also not one to catch on to other’s feelings, but I’m not sure of how much truth this holds. The only example I can think of is Shizuru, but did _anybody_ besides her know? Granted, it was probably in our alone time together where she would let the most hints slip, but...dammit... 

I resist the urge to cry out and attack my hair with my hands. Okay, so I wasn’t, and probably still not, the most observant person in the world when it comes to emotions. But I’m here now, aren’t I? Yet...if I had known before she ki– **no no no**! This is _not_ the time to think about such, uh...things. This is supposed to be a happy moment, isn’t it? 

This time I actually let myself vent my frustrations in a groan. Shizuru stirs slightly, only to tighten her grip on me. I sigh, attempting to quiet my brain down, and snuggle up a little closer the other woman. This moment that I am currently living in does not require thinking of any kind, so I just need to tell my mind to shut up and all will be well. ...If only it will listen... 

Now that I think back on it, even though I _really_ don’t want to, Shizuru had been getting progressively more affectionate, and I hadn’t exactly been turning down every advance she made on me. At first she was getting a little more distant from me every day, but something must have snapped in that head of hers because she suddenly bounded back to hugging me whenever the opportunity presented itself. As I began to feel comfortable with the hugs once more, so much so that I had been beginning to think of it as something that just came along with my life, she started to get a little more daring. She snuck kisses whenever I seemed _especially_ open to her, claiming her reason was to be able to see my reaction. Never once did she kiss me on the lips, it was always either on the cheek or possibly the forehead. Then, as I now conclude to be the last stage, was Shizuru ‘accidentally’ brushing up against certain parts of my anatomy that I could claim sexual harassment on if somebody so much as stared at them for far too long. Seriously, how could somebody have that many accidents? And there were so directed too... Yet, I never voiced much of an objection to the things she had been putting me through. 

Most people would probably give up after rejection, but Shizuru never really fell into the ‘most people’ category. She didn’t give up or even back off a little. In fact, she pushed herself forward gradually, but still forceful enough to pry open my eyes I had clamped shut. I had been so set on trying to get things back to what they used to be, even with the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that kept telling me I was attempting to do the impossible, that I never really took much more thought, beyond what I had previously concluded during the Carnival, into if I could love Shizuru in a romantic sense. She had steadily chipped away at the ‘just friends’ wall I had recently built. With the combination of my own doubts and her dedication to me, the tiniest crack appeared and she slipped right through. The stealthy woman... 

“Natsuki?” Shizuru’s voice breaks through my thoughts, making me jump slightly in surprise. I don’t respond, unsure if she is awake, asleep, or falling in and out between the two. Ah, what the hell. If she’s still asleep, I always wanted to know if you could have a conversation with a sleeping person. 

“Yes?” I speak softly. 

“Oh, so you are awake...” She trials off, as if there is something more she wants to say. I wait for a few seconds, wondering if that line was spoken in a momentary moment of consciousness, or if Shizuru is just not a morning person. Several more seconds, and I lose my patience. 

“Shizuru?” I pause, and then try once more, taking care to enunciate each syllable in her name, “Shi-zu-ru?” 

“Mm, I don’t think I have ever heard Natsuki say my name in such a way before.” She buries her face in my hair, kissing the top of my head. I keep silent, not knowing what to say. “Did you sleep well?” 

“Y-yes.” Why did I stutter? Why do I feel so awkward? She pulls me closer and I gasp, for our bodies are still bare. 

“You have nothing to worry about, Natsuki,” she reassures, though I’m not sure why. 

“What would I have to worry about?” I ask with a sinking feeling that I already know how she is going to answer. 

“Nothing.” Why do I even bother? 

Damn woman, that’s not what I’m talking about. Stop avoiding questions, you cunning, little– 

“Do not worry, because...” Shizuru starts, cutting herself off again. What is with the worry thing? 

“Shizuru, what are you–?” She slips a finger over my lips, effectively silencing me. 

“Shh, everything will be alright,” she murmurs, the carefree tone in her voice contradicting the tight, almost desperate hold she has me in. I’m not sure what kind of outcome I was expecting before, but now hearing her say such words makes me feel as if she is telling the truth. Yet, even though she is the one giving off this feeling, it feels as if she is the one that is unsure of the consequences of our actions. 

I am content, but I still manage to, ironically, worry about what Shizuru thinks I shouldn’t be worrying about. I was fine before she said anything and now I can’t help but have this feeling of dread pulling at the back of my mind. As I think about possible worry subjects, I realize that there are far too many to pin down the exact one that Shizuru is thinking of. It could be something along of the lines of such a relationship not being accepted by society, or possibly her parents, or even maybe that she regrets what happened. I don’t think that any are right and hope they aren’t, but I’ve been wrong before. 

“This is all your fault,” I say, trying to keep my tone from becoming accusatory. 

Shizuru remains silent, probably waiting for me to continue, but I keep my tongue still, not willing to form any more words until she either confirms or denies my statement. Enticing shivers, I ever so slightly run my fingers up and down her back. 

“I know,” she breathes. “I pulled you down to my level, subjecting you to my desires that I lost control of. I pushed you into doing something you weren’t ready to do and ignored any protests. I didn’t give you enough time and now...” She pauses briefly and shakes her head before pulling me even closer. “So, don’t worry.” 

“Shizuru...” No other words come to me, my voice sticking in my throat. Her saying such things...Is this what she thought I might be worrying about? Is she trying to justify my actions? They don’t need to be. It’s her fault for making me feel this way, for making me want to do those things to her, for making me desire her. But the actual act itself is both our faults. Hell, I was the one that kissed her. 

I feel an anger starting to boil within me. Knowing that I will lose in a battle of words, I decide to take a more physical approach. I nip at her neck gently a first, but then a little harder the next time, earning a light gasp. In an attempt to get my point across, I growl softly. 

“Ara, Natsuki sounds like a puppy,” Shizuru chuckles lightly. 

I freeze immediately. A puppy? What? That is _not_ what I intended to happen. In my exasperation, I accidentally let another growl loose, only succeeding in getting another laugh from Shizuru. As I try to calm myself down, I hear her coo out a “So cute!”, what little composure I have slipping further away. What’s with this woman? 

In need of a new form of punishment, I start to ignore her. The only real challenge to this task is to make my hands stop wandering. After a good few seconds, I gain control of the restless appendages, and keep my mouth tightly shut. 

I feel as though the ignoring is going fairly well, but Shizuru seems to have taken no notice. She starts to hum a song to fill the silence. The tune, unfamiliar to me, is soothing nonetheless. Due to my head being snuggled up so close to her neck, I feel weak vibrations from her throat, adding to the air of comfort she is surrounding me in. She weaves her fingers through my hair, ironically enjoying the moment she’s suppose to be suffering in. Why must she be so utterly impossible? 

I sigh, caving into my need of words. The punishment can come later when I will be feeling a little more creative than I currently am. Right now she needs to know that she is not the villain, but rather the hero in this story. 

“You do know that this is a good thing, right?” I whisper into her neck. 

A brief pause, and then she drags her lips down to my forehead, kissing it. She pulls back just enough so that her words won’t be too muffled, her lips lightly brushing against my skin as she speaks, “Of course.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that was my first attempt at ShizNat, and they’re probably horribly OOC. I hate Shizuru’s little blame falls on me thingie. It took far too long to write, also. Moo. Heh... Um, yeah, is it Festival or Carnival? I prefer Carnival because to me, Carnival equals Carnage. Yes, the first four letters are the same so I twistedly link them in my brain.
> 
> Just in case you wanted to know, this was inspired by the song The Walk by Imogen Heap. Google the lyrics to find out how utterly uncreative I am.
> 
> P.S. Yes, I know I wrote ‘momentary moment.’ I laughed in my easily amused-ness when I found it, so I kept it as is. There are probably other similar cases, but I just haven’t found them yet. Why must I constantly skim read? Why am I so freaking impatient? Okay, I really just need to shut up now. Shutting up.


	2. My Fault

I have never been all too keen on crowds, especially ones filled with idiots. Due to my luck, that seems to be the only type that I get stuck in. Really, people, is it that hard to walk at a moderately brisk pace? People being busy these days my ass. They all seem to be taking their sweet time to me. 

Not only are they as slow as molasses, but also suffocating. Whether it be waiting to cross a busy intersection or at an open floor concert, personal space becomes a foreign word and my need to punch someone’s teeth out escalates too high for anybody’s safety. 

So, in short, I avoid masses of people like the plague. Well, unless a certain infuriating, yet addicting woman calls me out of that splendid little cocoon that is withering due to how many times I have been ripped out of it. For her, I brave my hatred, but then end up hating every second of it until she is at least within sight. 

Currently taking part in one of these wonderful little expeditions, I wait impatiently for the condescending light to give me permission to cross. I have long since learned that glaring evilly at said light helps nothing, but I am need of an outlet of some sort. 

People start to fill up the space behind me at a quicker than usual pace, building up into one of the many banes of my existence. I try my damnest to ignore the obnoxiously loud smacking of gum and the nonstop jabber of a girl on her cellphone. Oh, and to add the cherry on top, a toddler is shrilly whining about some toy it was denied sometime in the recent past. My eye just won’t stop involuntarily twitching. Just when I think I’d overcome the habit... 

Apparently feeling as though I have suffered enough, the light finally changes, and I barely catch myself from tripping over my own two feet in my eagerness. A feeling of salvation washes over me as I realize how near the end my journey is. Just another block and I’ll gain a very welcomed distraction to my trivial annoyances of life. 

I round a corner and I see her sitting at the table I have long since labeled as hers and sipping at some variant of tea. She plays her usual game, pretending to be far too preoccupied with her book to notice my approach. I slip into the empty chair across from her and just stare. The book falls from her sight, her eyes lifting up to meet mine as a smile adorns her face. Such a common gesture from her shouldn’t mean so much, but I can’t stop the light fluttering of my heart. 

“Ara, Natsuki is a little later than usual,” Shizuru states, a teasing tone flowing through her voice with practiced ease. 

“It was that stupid intersection,” I mumble, relishing in the image of me throwing a stone at the accursed light. 

She raises her cup to her lips just close enough so that its rim is lightly brushed when she speaks, “With how reckless Natsuki is, I’m surprised she didn’t just run out into the street and make the cars stop.” 

My mouth is left slightly agape, my mind mulling over the absurdity of the statement. I crave for an intelligent response, but my arsenal of snappy comebacks has dwindled down to a dismal amount over the years I have been enjoying her company. 

A glance toward her and I catch that smirk poking out from behind the cup, successfully providing the tools for sharpening my tongue. Yet before I can utter an attempt at a cutting word, she definitively sets her cup down on the table, managing to pause my assault. She gently pushes herself away from the table and gets up with book in hand, her actions possessing enough fluidity and grace to cause the words to die on the tip of my tongue. 

I know that I am staring, and I know that she knows, for that smirk is only growing more definite. Why she doesn’t roll a teasing remark off of her tongue, I don’t know, a feeling of unease rising up within me. 

“We should probably get going,” I spew out with a surprisingly stable tone. 

Even though I stand up with no problems, I somehow don’t get my foot clear of the chair leg and I clumsily stumble away from the conspiring furniture. I glare maliciously at the almost trip-inducing inanimate objects before I turn toward the now giggling Shizuru, who is failing miserably at muffling her sounds of amusement. 

Mumbling a few strings of incoherent curses, I slap down enough money on the table to cover her tea before stalking over to the insufferable woman. I capture her hand in mine and start off down the sidewalk, attempting to prevent her from voicing her misgivings of my paying. 

“Natsuki...” she trails off as I turn my head towards her. 

“If it’s about the money thing, then don’t worry. Consider it my apology for being late.” I flash a smile that is probably incredibly cheesy, yet her expression doesn’t change in the slightest. 

“Well, then I should pay for–” 

“No,” I cut her off. “It’s my turn, I pay.” 

She appears to have given up on the pursuit, a truly shocking occurrence considering how stubborn she usually is about me throwing my money around. I can’t count the times we’ve gotten into arguments about my spendings, a majority of which ended up in her paying for them in one way or another. 

Her eyes float away from me, scanning the windows of the shops we pass by. Normally this silence between us would bring me a relief of sorts, but something feels off and I grow agitated. My hand gently tightens around hers, and she responds similarly, but only more forcefully, more desperately. 

I want to ask her if anything is wrong or even simply add a questioning tone to her name, but all words stick in my throat. Plus, my experience with this woman tells me that a vocal effort from me will get me nowhere. This “experience” spans across the years that I have known her, but to more specific, the knowledge that I’m currently drawing from was formed only recently. 

She’s been a clingy yet on and off distant person since, well...y’know, _that_ happened. It’s been four months and she— _we_ have yet to reach a level of stability. Whenever I try to get close, she has this incredibly guilty look in her eyes. It took me a while to understand why, and...I feel a little guilty for that. 

She’s still worried. I never vocalize that perhaps everything’s my fault, that maybe my devilish subconscious lured Shizuru in. But every time I try to elaborate on the thought, I just feel more and more idiotic. 

I try to show her that I feel the same way, that she hasn’t forced me into anything, but apparently it’s not getting through. And people call me the thickheaded one. 

I slightly shake my head to get rid of the sprouting frown. She must have caught my subtle action out of the corner of her eye, as her russet irises are now looking at me in a questioning way. 

Now, to tell her the semi-truth or a flat out lie, I’m not sure. Although it’s usually not a good idea, I’ll just let my mouth do the deciding. “What?” Ah, neither then. 

“Natsuki had a rather interesting expression on her face before she shook her head. I wonder what she was thinking about...” Her gaze trails off, and I swear I see her lips starting to curve downwards. _Dammit..._

My indecisive self now stuck with another decision, I thankfully spot our destination and blurt out, “We’re here.” 

Her gaze ventures off toward the building, leaving me in the dark of her expression and if she would want to further pursue her previous thought. I give her hand a gentle tug, her attention shifting back to me. Immediately I start to inwardly berate myself for my childish behavior of _look at me, look at me_. 

“Do you still want to see the same movie?” I ask with a glace inside the building. Oh, _real_ nice cover up. 

Her response is a simple nod as she begins to pull me toward the doors with a little too much vigor. Gah, why must she be so good at confusing the hell out of me? If I remember correctly, we had a rather fun time deciding which movie we wanted to see, as most of it was what I so articulately described as “crap.” We eventually decided on some movie called _A Tale Told_ that Shizuru said had received good reviews. She didn’t seem very enthralled with the idea, so why the enthusiasm now? 

Plus, the only reason we’re even seeing a movie is because she is so stuck on the idea of maintaining a tradition of sorts. We coincidentally went to the movies on the second weekend in one month, and did the same the following month, so now she wants to start a “tradition” of it. Monthly movies are not good for my budget. 

Struck with the remembrance that I’m buying this time, my free hand starts to travel down to my pocket as we near the ticket window. Noticing Shizuru’s slight lead over me, and taking into account of her stinginess with my money, I pick up my pace to pull ahead. As soon as I am within permissible distance, I slip my hand from hers and whip out my wallet, gliding in front of the window in such a way that I block her completely. 

“Two tickets for _A Tale Told_ please,” I say perhaps a tad too sweetly, but also with a vague hint of victory. I don’t care if she wasn’t planning to sneakily pay—I still won. 

The employee barely gets out the amount needed before I slide enough money through the little area beneath the window. I receive the tickets, spinning around to Shizuru with a grin plastered on my face. 

“Ara, I didn’t know Natsuki was this excited for the movie.” She stands barely a foot in front of me, her head ever so slightly cocked to the side. 

“I’m not,” I start, heading deeper into the movie theater. “I don’t even know what this movie’s about.” 

“To take me to a movie that Natsuki doesn’t even know if she’ll like...” She takes my arm, pushing it into her chest as she rests her head on my shoulder, her lips far too close to my ear. “I believe that a _reward_ is in order.” 

On cue, my blush rises and my futilely resisted spluttering starts. One should not have the ability to make words so...so... Damn this woman! 

I trudge forward, her still hanging off of me as we zoom right by the concessions as always. The movie costs damn enough as it is. After we find the movie and our seats, it doesn’t take long for the movie to start. And, just with the opening credits, I know I am going to loathe this movie. 

Of course it has to be some angst pit of a story. To sum it up, boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, random happy crap, sudden tragic car crash, boy dies later, girl then kills self after 45 minutes of straight depression, and then _thankfully_ the end. 

The accursed thing should’ve been named _Angst Pit 3: The Return of the Rusty Razorblade_. Hey, a little more alliteration never hurt anyone. 

I just want to take a nap before I start to seethe at it, but lead girl’s long monologues with random screeching and screaming in agony makes such a thing impossible. Never before have I wanted earplugs so bad. 

In an attempt to distract myself, I start fiddling around with Shizuru’s hand. She doesn’t seem to mind or even really notice, her eyes trained on the screen. Hold it, is she actually _watching_ this–this melodramatic crap? Just as a sense of horror starts to seep in, she turns her head towards me and gives me a questioning look. She must’ve felt my eyes on her. 

I just smile at her lamely and refocus myself on the movie. Not exactly the best decision I’ve ever made. 

For the rest of the movie, I attempt to zone out, running my fingers in and out of Shizuru’s. She has really soft hands. My own are a little scratchy and calloused, so I’ve never understood why wants to hold hands with me. I mean, isn’t it a little uncomfortable? 

“Natsuki.” 

I jump in my seat, coming back to reality. Shizuru is standing, her hand still in mine. 

“Natsuki, the movie’s over. We can leave now,” she sweetly explains to me as if I’m a toddler. I frown, but nonetheless let her pull me out of the seat. 

“I-I knew that. The seat was just comfortable, is all.” I stumble a little as she leads us out of the theater. Dammit, can I become any lamer? 

She glances at me and smiles. I know that smile—she’s gonna tease me. 

“So...” Her eyes sweep over my face, which I swear is already starting to blush. “Did Natsuki like the movie?” 

“No,” I blurt out, but immediately freeze. I wasn’t prepared for that question. Shizuru might like the movie, and I might have just– 

“Mm, I didn’t quite like it either.” 

I almost sigh in relief, not quite in the mood to deal with a pouting Shizuru. 

“What didn’t Natsuki like about it?” She shifts closer to me, moving her hand away from mine to rest it at the crook of my elbow. 

I ponder for a moment. There are so, so many answers to that question, but I settle on the first that comes to mind. “There could have been more explosions,” I say off-handedly with a slight shrug. 

She giggles lightly and leans into me. “Of course, Natsuki does enjoy her action.” 

We lull ourselves into a comfortable silence, just walking down the sidewalk. It’s quite peaceful, with her warmth pressed up against my side. Every once and a while, I am still shocked by the heat of another. I had gone on so long in my seclusion that I had grown too used to coldness. 

I feel a pull on my arm and a shift in direction. 

“Oo, Natsuki, let’s go here for lunch.” Before I could even voice my opinion, Shizuru is walking through the front door with me still attached to her arm. Once inside, I let my eyes wander around. It’s a little diner, the homey sort, but that still doesn’t mean I’m not afraid. Shizuru has an odd taste for food, and this place has apparently stuck her fancy. 

We seat ourselves and a waitress soon glides over, greeting us and setting down menus. With a quick smile, she shot off to another table. Poor woman, she must be the only one working. 

I eye the menu warily. To be honest, I’m afraid to open the thing. 

“Natsuki, let me buy lunch.” It was more of a command than a suggestion. About to deny her, I stop. My wallet isn’t exactly in the best shape, being a little flatter than I like. Really, this decision should’ve been the easiest one all day. 

Glancing up at her, I smile gratefully. “Gladly.” 

* * *

I don’t know why my appetite whets whenever what I hunger for becomes unavailable. Shizuru’s been gone for the last few days visiting family. She didn’t want me to come with, and that hurt a bit. I raised a fuss about it, but she put me down quickly. That woman had me wrapped around her finger and she knew it. 

I hear the door creak open and for a second I believe I’m hearing things. 

“Natsuki, I’m home!” 

Okay, definitely not hearing things. 

I shoot out of my seat, making a beeline for the door. She barely has a chance to get a good look at me before I pounce. 

Control has never been my forte. 

I press her up against a wall. It’s been too damn long and she feels too damn good. Right now, there’s no such thing as too close. I lean in and take her lips in a slow, gentle kiss. Her hands are on my hips, pushing. Briefly I wonder if she wants me to stop, but her mouth is telling me otherwise. 

I pull back for a breath and just look at her. Oh, what a fool I’ve become. 

Her expression seems a bit resistant, her eyes hardened and her mouth set in a straight line. But those hands that were pushing now have my shirt fisted in their grasp. I couldn’t pull away even if I wanted to. 

Without much more thought, I go back in, but I only succeed with a quick succession of pecks. She’s blocking me. Frowning, I lunge for one more try but am stopped by a finger to my lips. I stare into her russet eyes, searching for something. My gaze travels down to her lips, which are slowly parting. I feel like she’s trying to say something, and whatever that something is, I don’t want to hear it. 

I pucker my lips to lightly kiss her finger as my hands slide up along her side to her arms. With some coaxing, I manage to pin her hands above her head. Pulling myself in close to her face, I mutter, “What do you think you’re doing?” 

My hot breath trickles over her face, and I swear I can feel that mask melting away. 

I veer my head off to the side, nuzzling into the side of her neck. She gasps, my lips locking onto skin. 

“Trying to save you,” she breathes, craning her neck to allow me more skin. I exhale and I feel her tremble. 

“Save me? From what?” I mumble, but I already know the answer. I quickly raise my head back up and kiss her soundly before she can utter another word. 

She moans, whatever she has planned to say dieing in her throat. I intertwine my hands with hers, slowly bringing them back down to rest at our hips. My knee slips in between her legs, and her grip tightens. Her words are hinting at one thing, while her body is leaning the other way. Masks only cover faces, after all. 

I break the kiss, but I retreat only far enough for our lips to be brushing. “I don’t need to be saved, Shizuru.” 

She exhales, shaking, and her eyes are shut. I can’t help but press another kiss to her lips. Goddamn this intoxicating woman. Slipping one of my hands from hers, I trail the tips of my fingers along her side. Even her clothes are soft. 

I pull back further this time, and my hand cups her cheek. She leans into it, and I melt a little inside. 

“You’ve already saved me.” 

* * *

She is sleeping, or at least I think she is. Her face is relaxed, her mouth parted as slow, even breaths flow in and out. I am staring, and I don’t care because this is the only time she won’t know. A few strands of her hair have fallen near her closed eyes. Without any hesitance, I gently brush them away, letting my fingertips float down her cheek. 

Her eyelids flicker, and I quickly retract my hand, stiffening. My face is hot, and I feel even more embarrassed for that. I never stop staring. 

She lets out a light groan as I shift closer, letting my hand rest on her side. And, ever so slowly and diligently, I trace out what I have yet to find the strength to say. 

“Mm, Natsuki?” 

Oh shit, she _is_ awake! Dah, coward, coward, coward! 

I fling myself back and press up against the headboard. Burying my head in my hands, I can feel the heat of my face on my palms. I hear rustling, but I won’t look. 

“Natsuki...?” 

I grunt in response. 

After a moment of silence, I feel a slight tremor in the bed from what I assume to be Shizuru rolling over, away from me. Something swirls in my stomach unfavorably. I lie down on my side and curl up, away from her, trying to cage the unwelcomed feeling. 

Barely two seconds later, I feel the tremors again, though stronger this time. Sheets rustle from the movement, and an arm worms its way under my abdomen, another over my waist. I find myself being pulled back into her body, her warmth seeping through the thin material of our shirts. 

Lips perch themselves against my ear, and I can’t stop the soft gasp from escaping my throat. My heart shouldn’t be beating this fast. 

She presses herself closer, no doubt feeling the _thump-thump_ coming from my chest. Her lips start to move, and I can’t breathe. 

“I love you, too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! *confetti?* A plotbunny sort of popped up (a year ago), bit me in the ankle, then ran away cackling maniacally. Of course I had to chase it (for a year). I have to say that this is a one-time thing, so no more surprise add-ons from me. Hopefully I won’t screw things up and have to post more to try and cover my ass. Gah. Just gah.
> 
> Also, I made up the movie A Tale Told, so don’t go Google-ing it. You’ll just get random crap. Yays. :D
> 
> Much thanks to Naolin for beta-ing and the confidence reinforcement. Also thanks to SakuraNek0 for catching a few other typos.


End file.
